(posted by Greg)
One of the personal things of Opa's which recently came back to us was a photo of Monica. It was a photo taken of Monica in our front yard in the snow a couple of winters ago. I particularly like this photo because of Monica's smile in it. It was a great, natural smile. I had a similar reaction to a photo of Monica taken last week when she had lunch with the girls from the office. Once again that same great smile.
I realize that Monica's smile is one of her trademarks. She had a great smile for me in 1982 when she came to my cocktail party (the start of our relationship). She had a great smile for me walking down the aisle at our wedding when she realized that I had noticed the hat ( a surprise) she was wearing. I often would get a smile when she walked by my door at the office. The smiles haven't always been the same but over the years I have had lots of those smiles. She also always had lots of smiles for friends and family- always happy to see people and showing them how she felt with her smile.
Believe it or not, Marley and I are still seeing lots of those smiles. Monica's still finds lots of reasons to laugh and smile. She has some great smiles for the kids when she sees them. - Just thought that I would mention something that I realize I am grateful for.
Weekly update: On Saturday we connected with the son of friend from Germany. We showed him a bit of the City and had him over for dinner before he went to the movies with Jesse and Marley. On Sunday we had a relaxing, long visit with Oma who continues to do well and then joined Ingo for dinner at his house. On Tuesday, Monica and Marley took a friend of Oma's out to see her and had lunch with Oma, Aunt Ida, and the friend. Yesterday the physiotherapist visited and reviewed some range of motion exercises with us. The weather was nice so Marley and Monica had a nice walk with the wheelchair in Central Park. Today Monica had another Bev treatment and all went well.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
(posted by Greg)
The past week was, for the most part, uneventful. Monica's condition is pretty much the same. I really admire the calm, uncomplaining way that she is dealing with all the frustrations that come from not being able to use her right side properly (buttoning her blouse, cutting and eating her food, not being able to walk far). She is also very determined and methodical about taking her supplements, exercising and eating properly. Her attitude makes it easier for Marley and I to be caregivers.
February 10th was Monica's birthday. Marley and Monica went shopping in the morning and I left work at noon and met them for a relaxing lunch. In the afternoon, Ingo brought Monica's mother over. Monica and I had a relaxing visit with her while Ingo and Marley took Ingo's dog to the dog park. Jesse came over after his last class with his girlfriend,Sydney, and her sister, Lucy, and my niece, Jan, dropped by for a visit. The eight of us took our time eating some ordered Chinese food and followed up with some desserts. Sydney and Lucy had made a chocolate birthday cake using yams and no sugar (sounds different but tasted great). Ingo had also brought a bouqet from Edible Creations -chocolate covered strawberries and pineapple made to look like a flower arrangement-which tasted as good as it looked
At the end of the day, we all felt that it had been a particularly good birthday. So good that Monica is considering having a birthday week.
The past week was, for the most part, uneventful. Monica's condition is pretty much the same. I really admire the calm, uncomplaining way that she is dealing with all the frustrations that come from not being able to use her right side properly (buttoning her blouse, cutting and eating her food, not being able to walk far). She is also very determined and methodical about taking her supplements, exercising and eating properly. Her attitude makes it easier for Marley and I to be caregivers.
February 10th was Monica's birthday. Marley and Monica went shopping in the morning and I left work at noon and met them for a relaxing lunch. In the afternoon, Ingo brought Monica's mother over. Monica and I had a relaxing visit with her while Ingo and Marley took Ingo's dog to the dog park. Jesse came over after his last class with his girlfriend,Sydney, and her sister, Lucy, and my niece, Jan, dropped by for a visit. The eight of us took our time eating some ordered Chinese food and followed up with some desserts. Sydney and Lucy had made a chocolate birthday cake using yams and no sugar (sounds different but tasted great). Ingo had also brought a bouqet from Edible Creations -chocolate covered strawberries and pineapple made to look like a flower arrangement-which tasted as good as it looked
At the end of the day, we all felt that it had been a particularly good birthday. So good that Monica is considering having a birthday week.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
(posted by Greg)
I have to confess that I have been feeling a bit pessimistic lately. I think Monica's struggles with how the tumour has been affecting her right side made me feel that way.
In any event, Monica had an MRI this morning and then a follow-up meeting with the oncologist. I went into the meeting expecting to hear that the tumour was still growing. But- we got some good news!! The Bev seems to be doing its job for now. The Dr. was pleased with the results of the MRI and reported that the tumour was noticeably smaller. I think we were all a bit surprised (happily) by the news and we are all feeling more positive tonight. This bit of good news makes it easier to stay committed to the struggle and to doing what we can to help Monica's body stay in a healing mode.
The Dr. attributes Monica's physical problems to damage done by the tumour. However, he wants Monica to do more "range of movement" exercises and has prescribed a muscle relaxant to help her with her muscles. He also gave some directions to the physiotherapist.
I have to confess that I have been feeling a bit pessimistic lately. I think Monica's struggles with how the tumour has been affecting her right side made me feel that way.
In any event, Monica had an MRI this morning and then a follow-up meeting with the oncologist. I went into the meeting expecting to hear that the tumour was still growing. But- we got some good news!! The Bev seems to be doing its job for now. The Dr. was pleased with the results of the MRI and reported that the tumour was noticeably smaller. I think we were all a bit surprised (happily) by the news and we are all feeling more positive tonight. This bit of good news makes it easier to stay committed to the struggle and to doing what we can to help Monica's body stay in a healing mode.
The Dr. attributes Monica's physical problems to damage done by the tumour. However, he wants Monica to do more "range of movement" exercises and has prescribed a muscle relaxant to help her with her muscles. He also gave some directions to the physiotherapist.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Sunday Morning, February 5, 2012
(posted by Greg)
I am writing this early Sunday morning (so no comments on the score in the Super Bowl Game are available) while Monica and Marley are still sleeping.
The past week was pretty good and quite active. Monica's balance seems a tiny bit worse (Marley and I have both noticed this and we are trying to be more and more careful) but she continues to be an uncomplaining trooper. The weather was better this past week so we have had her outside a bit. She walks as much as she can and we use the wheelchair when she gets tired.
Yesterday, Monica and I drove Marley to her UBC Medical School interview. After dropping Marley off, we spent some time in the UBC Bookstore and I used Monica's handicapped parking pass for the first time- it made parking much easier as I was able to get a handicapped parking meter near the front door. We then drove downtown, parked in Stanley park and walked out of the park and along Denman from Beach to Georgia and back. We have always enjoyed this walk and enjoyed it again yesterday. There were lots of people out and about enjoying the weather and we were glad to be among them.
This was the first time that I had used the wheelchair extensively. The trip was a real eye opener for me and I am much more appreciative of what life is like for persons with handicaps. First, Monica and I struggled to put her gloves on because she basically can't use her right hand and her fingers are curling up. Then, on the walk itself, I discovered how uneven the concrete actually is (broken patches, root upheavals etc). I learned (after nearly jarring Monica ouit of the chair at least once) that I have to walk slow and steady in order not to toss Monica about in the wheelchair and, because the sidewalks were busy, I had to be very alert. Also, because I was pushing Monica, I noticed a lot more of the hills and became aware of shops/restaurants that didn't look wheelchair friendly.
[This trip made me appreciate the mobility that Monica still has. I couldn't help but think how much more difficult it would be (or maybe impossible) if she couldn't still move about on her own (even little things like going to the washroom or getting in and out of the car)]
After our walk, Monica and returned to UBC and had a cup of tea and a bite to eat at a Starbucks located not far from the site of my old frat house. We took our time and people-watched. The UBC campus is great and still has a nice feel about it.
We picked Marley up at about 4:00 p.m. She seemed to have really enjoyed the interview process (hope that bodes well) and interacting with everyone. I think she misses college life and being around other students. The three of us then drove to Langley to show Oma how "smart" and professional Marley looked in her interview clothes (and Oma's pearls). [Oma continues to do amazingly well.] We capped off a long and tiring day by meeting Ingo for a late dinner in White Rock.
This past week we again attended a Brain Tumour support group meeting. I don't think that Monica or I felt like going but we went because Marley felt like going. (I think that I was unsure about how beneficial it would be for the group to see that Monica's condition was worse and I had doubts about whether the discussions would be helpful or useful to us.) Social workers and counsellors recommend these support groups to patients and caregivers. On reflection, I think that their advice is good. Despite my misgivings about going, it was once again a useful experience for us all. There is a clear bonding that takes place among the group as they share their experiences and outlook on life with one another. I think that all three of us again felt better afterwards and we were reminded again (as if we should have to be) of what things in life are truly important and the importance of getting a lot out of each moment.
Some of the stories are very sad and touching: This week a caregiver whose 21 year old daughter who had only recently discovered a bad brain tumour and who was not doing too well attended for the first time. Another woman made a comment that suggested she might not be able make next month's meeting because the medicine wasn't working any longer on her tumor.
We have a fairly busy week coming up. Monica gets an MRI on
Wednesday morning followed by a consultation with the Dr. in the afternoon. On Thursday Monica is getting together for lunch with the girls from work and she has her next "Bev" treatment scheduled for the afternoon. On Friday we are going to celebrate Monica's 61st birthday with Oma.
I am writing this early Sunday morning (so no comments on the score in the Super Bowl Game are available) while Monica and Marley are still sleeping.
The past week was pretty good and quite active. Monica's balance seems a tiny bit worse (Marley and I have both noticed this and we are trying to be more and more careful) but she continues to be an uncomplaining trooper. The weather was better this past week so we have had her outside a bit. She walks as much as she can and we use the wheelchair when she gets tired.
Yesterday, Monica and I drove Marley to her UBC Medical School interview. After dropping Marley off, we spent some time in the UBC Bookstore and I used Monica's handicapped parking pass for the first time- it made parking much easier as I was able to get a handicapped parking meter near the front door. We then drove downtown, parked in Stanley park and walked out of the park and along Denman from Beach to Georgia and back. We have always enjoyed this walk and enjoyed it again yesterday. There were lots of people out and about enjoying the weather and we were glad to be among them.
This was the first time that I had used the wheelchair extensively. The trip was a real eye opener for me and I am much more appreciative of what life is like for persons with handicaps. First, Monica and I struggled to put her gloves on because she basically can't use her right hand and her fingers are curling up. Then, on the walk itself, I discovered how uneven the concrete actually is (broken patches, root upheavals etc). I learned (after nearly jarring Monica ouit of the chair at least once) that I have to walk slow and steady in order not to toss Monica about in the wheelchair and, because the sidewalks were busy, I had to be very alert. Also, because I was pushing Monica, I noticed a lot more of the hills and became aware of shops/restaurants that didn't look wheelchair friendly.
[This trip made me appreciate the mobility that Monica still has. I couldn't help but think how much more difficult it would be (or maybe impossible) if she couldn't still move about on her own (even little things like going to the washroom or getting in and out of the car)]
After our walk, Monica and returned to UBC and had a cup of tea and a bite to eat at a Starbucks located not far from the site of my old frat house. We took our time and people-watched. The UBC campus is great and still has a nice feel about it.
We picked Marley up at about 4:00 p.m. She seemed to have really enjoyed the interview process (hope that bodes well) and interacting with everyone. I think she misses college life and being around other students. The three of us then drove to Langley to show Oma how "smart" and professional Marley looked in her interview clothes (and Oma's pearls). [Oma continues to do amazingly well.] We capped off a long and tiring day by meeting Ingo for a late dinner in White Rock.
This past week we again attended a Brain Tumour support group meeting. I don't think that Monica or I felt like going but we went because Marley felt like going. (I think that I was unsure about how beneficial it would be for the group to see that Monica's condition was worse and I had doubts about whether the discussions would be helpful or useful to us.) Social workers and counsellors recommend these support groups to patients and caregivers. On reflection, I think that their advice is good. Despite my misgivings about going, it was once again a useful experience for us all. There is a clear bonding that takes place among the group as they share their experiences and outlook on life with one another. I think that all three of us again felt better afterwards and we were reminded again (as if we should have to be) of what things in life are truly important and the importance of getting a lot out of each moment.
Some of the stories are very sad and touching: This week a caregiver whose 21 year old daughter who had only recently discovered a bad brain tumour and who was not doing too well attended for the first time. Another woman made a comment that suggested she might not be able make next month's meeting because the medicine wasn't working any longer on her tumor.
We have a fairly busy week coming up. Monica gets an MRI on
Wednesday morning followed by a consultation with the Dr. in the afternoon. On Thursday Monica is getting together for lunch with the girls from work and she has her next "Bev" treatment scheduled for the afternoon. On Friday we are going to celebrate Monica's 61st birthday with Oma.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Some random thoughts :)
Hello everyone...Marley logging on tonight since I was up late writing an email to Ross reflecting on my day and came across an interesting revelation.
Today, we made another trip to the cancer agency but this time for a support group meeting. I am sure my dad will say more on the meeting but I was particularly struck by a topic that was indirectly brought up; a sense of identity. One young man in the group is quite eager to get back to work. It is obvious that he enjoyed his profession and as a result his life got tied into his work. This sense of self-identity comes up quite frequently for patients with brain tumors because of the nature of the illness.
Anyways, I came to a realization that kind of explains some of the feelings I have been having over the last 9 months of this journey. I started to realize why adjusting to the "limbo phase" of my life as I describe it has been a challenge. I realized that my identity was wrapped into working towards goals, being an enthusiastic student, passionate soccer player ... etc. I think the changes happened so fast and were so drastic that I sometimes don't feel like myself. Yes, I am still working towards goals on a daily basis. But, their pursuit has felt different than before. Its like I feel the imaginary pressure that because I visualized myself having a great intermediate job before medical school, playing competitive soccer, and accomplishing all sorts of other goals that I feel like I'm not being successful and living up to a standard that I set for myself. Instead, I think I should be realizing that I am living up to my values by taking some time from those things and instead investing in time with my family because deep down being with my family is really important to me.
Maybe, this was silly to share (and hopefully I was able to write my feelings clearly) but the revelation explained a lot for me tonight and I couldn't help but want to share this small part of my journey with those who care. I think its good to realize how you are defining yourself and not to wrap your identity so much in what you do but more how you do it.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
― Charles R. Swindoll
Today, we made another trip to the cancer agency but this time for a support group meeting. I am sure my dad will say more on the meeting but I was particularly struck by a topic that was indirectly brought up; a sense of identity. One young man in the group is quite eager to get back to work. It is obvious that he enjoyed his profession and as a result his life got tied into his work. This sense of self-identity comes up quite frequently for patients with brain tumors because of the nature of the illness.
Anyways, I came to a realization that kind of explains some of the feelings I have been having over the last 9 months of this journey. I started to realize why adjusting to the "limbo phase" of my life as I describe it has been a challenge. I realized that my identity was wrapped into working towards goals, being an enthusiastic student, passionate soccer player ... etc. I think the changes happened so fast and were so drastic that I sometimes don't feel like myself. Yes, I am still working towards goals on a daily basis. But, their pursuit has felt different than before. Its like I feel the imaginary pressure that because I visualized myself having a great intermediate job before medical school, playing competitive soccer, and accomplishing all sorts of other goals that I feel like I'm not being successful and living up to a standard that I set for myself. Instead, I think I should be realizing that I am living up to my values by taking some time from those things and instead investing in time with my family because deep down being with my family is really important to me.
Maybe, this was silly to share (and hopefully I was able to write my feelings clearly) but the revelation explained a lot for me tonight and I couldn't help but want to share this small part of my journey with those who care. I think its good to realize how you are defining yourself and not to wrap your identity so much in what you do but more how you do it.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
― Charles R. Swindoll
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