(posted by Greg)
Particulars of Monica's Memorial Service are as follows:
Date: November 16, 2013
Place: Shiloh-Sixth Avenue United Church
1111 Sixth Avenue
New Westminster, B.C.
Time: 2:00 p.m.
(In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the B.C.Cancer Foundation)
In a day or so, I will write try to express some final thoughts and feelings for this blog.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
(posted by Greg)
So goodbye my friend
I know I’ll never see you again
But the love you gave me
through all the years
Will take away these tears
I’m okay now
Goodbye my friend
(refrain from a song written by Karla Bonhoff- for a link to
listen to the song as sung by Linda Rondstadt go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBHcUv_42zI )
Monica passed away this morning at 12:21 a.m. These words
and this song pretty much sum up how I am feeling at this moment.
I will post details of Monica’s funeral service on this blog
once arrangements are made and I may gather my thoughts to do a last blog.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
(posted by Greg)
In the last.week Monica's condition has taken another turn for the worse. Last Sunday, she had a seizure and as a result (or as a result of the medicine), she was asleep and difficult to arouse (pretty much like a coma). The Homecare nurses put some "ports" in her arms so that I can continue her steroids and so that I can give her medicine for pain or to relax her if she has another seizure. Because of the way that she was sleeping and the sound of her breathin, I was quite worried that she would pass very soon. So far Monica has not had any further seizures and does not seem to be in any pain so we have not had to administer any of these other medications.
On Monday evening Monica opened her eyes and seemed to be aware. On Tuesday and Wednesday she was quite awake although not really responsive. Thursday and yesterday she was asleep much of the day again. So, there is considerable variation day to day.
I have had quite a bit of help and support through this last week. Monica's mother and brother have been visiting throughout (Oma came in by bus and skytrain on Thursday to be with Monica and to help as much as she can) and on Monday they brought along her Aunt. Marley took time from school on Monday and has been at home as much as possible. Jesse's girlfriend spent Monday evening with us as well . The Homecare nurses have increased the frequency of the their visits (coming twice a day when we were most worried).and have been very helpful. The Homecare workers continue to come in twice a day and, although I have cut back my time in the office to next to nothing, I still have homecare workers from Nurse Next Door come in for the afternoons on weekdays to help me as required.
The big changes which, I think, don't bode well are Monica's breathing and her ability to swallow. She is having real difficulty swallowing. So, because of the risk of causing her to choke, we are limited in the types and quantities of foods and fluids which we can give her. As difficult as this is to think about or to say, I am acutely aware that her time with us is limited. (Mind you, she continues to surprise me with her strength and will to live.)
In the last.week Monica's condition has taken another turn for the worse. Last Sunday, she had a seizure and as a result (or as a result of the medicine), she was asleep and difficult to arouse (pretty much like a coma). The Homecare nurses put some "ports" in her arms so that I can continue her steroids and so that I can give her medicine for pain or to relax her if she has another seizure. Because of the way that she was sleeping and the sound of her breathin, I was quite worried that she would pass very soon. So far Monica has not had any further seizures and does not seem to be in any pain so we have not had to administer any of these other medications.
On Monday evening Monica opened her eyes and seemed to be aware. On Tuesday and Wednesday she was quite awake although not really responsive. Thursday and yesterday she was asleep much of the day again. So, there is considerable variation day to day.
I have had quite a bit of help and support through this last week. Monica's mother and brother have been visiting throughout (Oma came in by bus and skytrain on Thursday to be with Monica and to help as much as she can) and on Monday they brought along her Aunt. Marley took time from school on Monday and has been at home as much as possible. Jesse's girlfriend spent Monday evening with us as well . The Homecare nurses have increased the frequency of the their visits (coming twice a day when we were most worried).and have been very helpful. The Homecare workers continue to come in twice a day and, although I have cut back my time in the office to next to nothing, I still have homecare workers from Nurse Next Door come in for the afternoons on weekdays to help me as required.
The big changes which, I think, don't bode well are Monica's breathing and her ability to swallow. She is having real difficulty swallowing. So, because of the risk of causing her to choke, we are limited in the types and quantities of foods and fluids which we can give her. As difficult as this is to think about or to say, I am acutely aware that her time with us is limited. (Mind you, she continues to surprise me with her strength and will to live.)
Monday, October 14, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
(posted by Greg)
All things considered, our Thanksgiving was about as good as it could be: the weather was glorious - Oma took the bus and skytrain to our house from Langley - Jesse and his girlfriend, Sidney, joined us for dinner -and Ingo cooked the turkey and brought it to our house along with a mess of brussel sprouts. All I had to do was buy a pumpkin pie and prepare the potatoes and some vegetables. The dinner was great and the clean-up was fairly painless with everyone helping clean up..
I often say "grace" at family dinners. Even though I still have lots to be thankful for (and I know from our prior discussions that Monica shares those sentiments), I knew that I couldn't get through it without choking up. I think everyone felt the same. Finally, Oma said "grace" in German and, not understanding much German, I got through it without tearing up until I heard the German word for daughter (and started to imagine how she was feeling).
We have now had more than two years to prepare ourselves for what we are currently experiencing. I won't try to describe the ongoing deterioration in Monica's condition. Suffice it to say that it is very difficult for us all to see the ongoing changes in Monica. And, unfortunately, this is compounded because I can't converse with the person I most want to share my feelings with.
I noticed that this blog has now had more than 43,000 views. This is an amazing number and is indicative of the support which my family and I are receiving from many people in many different ways. I want to acknowledge that we do feel that support. We recently received a card from friends in South Dakota (friends who seem to have access to the most wonderful card shop). To help express my feelings regarding the support we feel, I would like to repeat the message in that card:
"The sky is filled with stars invisible by day" - Henry Wordsworth Longfellow
Friends, like the stars are always there,
even when
you don't see them....
encouraging you,
cheering you,
hoping with you.
All things considered, our Thanksgiving was about as good as it could be: the weather was glorious - Oma took the bus and skytrain to our house from Langley - Jesse and his girlfriend, Sidney, joined us for dinner -and Ingo cooked the turkey and brought it to our house along with a mess of brussel sprouts. All I had to do was buy a pumpkin pie and prepare the potatoes and some vegetables. The dinner was great and the clean-up was fairly painless with everyone helping clean up..
I often say "grace" at family dinners. Even though I still have lots to be thankful for (and I know from our prior discussions that Monica shares those sentiments), I knew that I couldn't get through it without choking up. I think everyone felt the same. Finally, Oma said "grace" in German and, not understanding much German, I got through it without tearing up until I heard the German word for daughter (and started to imagine how she was feeling).
We have now had more than two years to prepare ourselves for what we are currently experiencing. I won't try to describe the ongoing deterioration in Monica's condition. Suffice it to say that it is very difficult for us all to see the ongoing changes in Monica. And, unfortunately, this is compounded because I can't converse with the person I most want to share my feelings with.
I noticed that this blog has now had more than 43,000 views. This is an amazing number and is indicative of the support which my family and I are receiving from many people in many different ways. I want to acknowledge that we do feel that support. We recently received a card from friends in South Dakota (friends who seem to have access to the most wonderful card shop). To help express my feelings regarding the support we feel, I would like to repeat the message in that card:
"The sky is filled with stars invisible by day" - Henry Wordsworth Longfellow
Friends, like the stars are always there,
even when
you don't see them....
encouraging you,
cheering you,
hoping with you.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
(posted by Greg)
Monica continues to keep up the struggle but is getting worse. Her right leg won't support any weight really any more and buckles easily during the transfers (making the transfers trickier). She is speaking very little (but surprised me yesterday when she said hello both to her Mom and Ingo) and that makes caring for her more difficult and a bit heartbreaking as well. So far however we are still able to cope with the assistance of the Homecare workers and the Nurse-Next-Door.The plan still is to keep Monica at home as long as possible.
Because Mollie did not have Kindergarten Thursday and Friday, Daniel was able to make a quick driviing trip home from Boise (driving through the night on Wednesday night) and was able to be here Thursday, Friday and Saturday. It was nice to have him home again (even if for a few days) and having Mollie here was once again like a breath of fresh air. (In one touching moment, we overheard Mollie telling Monica " Don't worry Grandma- I will always be there for you.")
So, on the weekend everyone (Ingo, Oma, Jesse, Sydney and a student girlfriend of Marley's) was around visiting, playing card games, laughing, teasing and eating a huge lasagna that Ingo had made. We had a nice, natural family time and kept Monica in the thick of it. She wasn't speaking but I think (at least, I like to think) was taking it all in and continuing to feel as a part of her life)..
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